Hypebusting- pt.3 (Dirty Projectors)

Continuing our series of reviews with Mike from Central Target, which takes us to Dirty Projectors' Bitte Orca

Mike :I already WAY prefer this music to the last album, but the vocals are already driving me crazy

These are about as prototypical "indie" vocals as one can get, both male and female. I don't even know what that means, but it's all I can think of. I like the song, but the way the vocals are mixed hurts it.

Mike: Yeah. Completely in the same court. This is way less infuriating than I remember their music being.

You know, when the girls aren't singing, this is quite enjoyable.

Mike : I could see you feeling that way. But this second song's vocals are making me disagree. I hate the lyrics too

Yeah, the second song came on right when I wrote that and killed what I was saying

Mike: it's like he's doing Doobie Brothers-type tenor soul vocals or some crap like that

Melodies, we don't need melodies

Mike : oh, a rhythm turnaround. Isn't that supposed to be a sign of musicality? But didn't Rod Stewart do that, too?

Holy crap, I just got the Doobie Brothers vibe. It manifested as a cold shiver down my spine.

Mike: I with the sun would never rise over Temecula, so the plants wouldn't get sun, they wouldn't produce oxygen for animals to breathe, and everyone there would die.

More so, it's bad Van Morrison

Mike: Oh, that's PERFECTLY ACCURATE. And I HATE Van Morrison.

I did a guitar solo like this once. They threw me out of Guitar Center

Mike: HA! I wanna just drink until this sounds better. We're only TWO SONGS IN!

Strap in, big guy... this is going to be a bumpy ride.

This third song is far more like Jeff Buckley's Van Morrison covers than anything on that last album. And it's no good. None at all.

At least the guy from Grizzly Bear had the voice to pull off a Buckley copy. This guy just doesn't

Mike: Yeah. Falsetto can just as easily lead you down a road that ends up at Anthony Kiedis. And NOBODY wants to go down that road.

Whoa whoa whoa

I like this song, "Stillness Is The Move". So far, that is.

This sounds like some serious 80's white guy synth-funk

There's actually a song here, that's a plus.

Mike: this could be like a Vanity 6 track or something. Yeah, this isn't bad.

we're going to have to discuss some other time how we feel about the hype surrounding the actual records, vs. the music on it's own. That's another LOOOONG discussion.

obviously

Mike: But how can can album that is almost unlistenable until the 4th track get "Best Of The Year" hype BEFORE IT EVEN COMES OUT?!?!

I think we're in agreement that none of these three are likely to appear on our top 10 of 2009 lists

Probably not even on our top 10 of the first half of 2009 lists

Mike: I would entertain the possibility that Animal Collective could end up in contention for my first-half list

to be clear.... MAYBE be a POSSIBLE OPTION to POSSIBLY get on the list. Not a chance with the other two

Fair enough
Mike: But no way would any of them end up on the end of the year top ten

I was actively annoyed too often by the Animal Collective record for that to happen.

Mike: all three of them are awash in their own self-importance, which really kills it for me. Seriousness is one thing, but it's like once someone believes that they're a genius 'cause they've been told so many times.

It is interesting to think that someone heard that Animal Collective record and thought, "this is almost certainly the best thing I am going to hear all year."

"Two Doves" is another pretty, but unexceptional track.

Mike: Take this song. It's not bad, but it's not a good enough song to warrant all the trouble that went into the arrangement.

EXACTLY.

But your comment on the AC record? Perfectly put.

Just checking out the reviews, allmusic says "Two Doves" sounds like A-Ha's "Take On Me", and they say that as a compliment.

Mike: Everything about that concept is wrong.

I don't hear the similarity AT ALL.

Mike: Me neither, and while "Take On Me" is a nice song, it's no measuring stick for other tunes, you know?

Right

Mike: "Well, this record is either as good as Take On Me, or it's not...."

That's how I judge EVERYTHING from now on.

I like that the start of "Useful Chamber" sounds like a neutered version of Nine Inch Nails' "Closer"

Mike: Ha... after jogging to Nine Inch Nails this morning, that's an extra funny comparison.

"I wanna cuddle you like an animal."

This guy needs to stop with the falsetto

Mike: Yeah

Ok, so "bitte" is german for "please" (and, to a lesser extent, "you're welcome")

I'm really hoping that the album's title is being used like ODB's album title. "Orca, PLEASE!"

Mike: actually, he's unintentionally slipping into Kiedis territory with that melisma vocal thing he's slipping into at 4:40 of 'Useful Chamber'

He's way past the Kiedis line


These female vocals remind me of some of the Residents backing singers


Mike: I could see that. The female vocals are mixed so weird, you wouldn't know that they're in tune as harmonies

It's like they are mixed for maximum annoyance value

Mike: let's check out what Mark Prindle says about Dirty Projectors: "Quirky Brooklyn band with kooky ideas like a concept album about Don Henley and an art-pop "reimagining" of Black Flag's Damaged LP. In addition to normal rock instruments (and occasional brass or strings), they also use tons of multi-vocal harmonies, bizarre sound loops and all kinds of crazy things. Certainly quirky, I'll give them that. Near unlistenable at times, but they definitely have their own thing going on."

I like the weird space/dub bassline to this

This groove, this little moment, is nice

With the 2&4 drum hits

Right before it fades out

It is nice. I even like the little guitar lines

Mike: oh wait, it's not fading

yeah, this one is groovy and enjoyable. So far, that's 2 songs out of 7.

that's a 26.7% grade

I liked the first song, so 3 out of 7

It's like they get a good groove going, and then realize they need to do something weird with their vocals or something, and so they just throw something into the middle.

Yeah, this track is quite nice.

Mike: yeah, this weird little un-reverbed guitar solo is irritating me

like if I was plaing guitar along with an album I've never heard.

They couldn't just have a nice guitar solo there, could they?

Mike: While this album is different than say, Matchbox 20, it's not really any more interesting to me, and I HATE Matchbox 20. Refuse to listen to them, if they come on somewhere, I change it or leave the room.

I expected to like this one better than the other two, but I can't honestly say that I do at this point.

Mike: Does this feel at all like a f***ed up sort of Paul Simon goes-to-Africa vocal style?

Yes. Oh good grief, just stop that.

Mike: I expected to like this least, but wanted to like it the most, to prove that I was being a judgmental old crank.

I just realized something, and I should have noticed it earlier, but this guy DESPERATELY wants to be David Byrne

Mike: But it's not disappointing, in the sense that I like it LESS than I expected to.

Yeah, I could see the Byrne thing.

I will say that I quite like their song with Byrne on that "Dark Was the Night" comp.

Mike: I've heard that once, and it was nice enough.

This must be what indie hipsters rock out to, like the way that fratboys love Umphree's McGee or the String Cheese Incident.

Oooh.. the sultry Sade-style ballad

It saddens me to think of someone rocking out to this album

Mike: Oh, they make out to this song.

Ewwww
Mike : "Flourescent Half-Dome"

I think this is an indie-rocker dorm-room sexin' staple, and this is the afterglow ballad.

which retroactively makes me wish I'd dropped out of college

That's the most awkward sex music ever

Mike: Yeah.

I'm already thinking of what I'm going to put on when this endless song finally stops making me hate.

the next minute cannot be over soon enough, but I will persevere. For science!

Man, this is as soulless as any music ever

I like this little last 20 seconds, for the same reason as I liked the intros to the AC album

OK, so we did it.
Ok, Let's give our final grades.

Animal Collective: C+
Grizzly Bear: C+
Dirty Projectors: D
Maybe a bit generous

Mike: Animal Collective: B+
Grizzly Bear: C
Dirty Projectors: D- (I get it, I just don't get why anyone would DO it!)

Any final words to say to anyone who's still reading?

If you honestly like any of these albums more than Dinosaur Jr.'s "Farm", we probably don't have much in common.

Mike: I'd like to second that, and claim that I feel that at least 50% of the people who claim these to be "great albums" don't fully know their reasons for saying that. They may like them, but they cannot tell me why.